What could have been

The greatest mistake you can make is to be continually fearing you will make one.

 -Elbert Hubbard

I know, right?!

I remember months ago, when I just arrived here, thinking I should be able to make my own mistakes. I know people are trying to help, and of course they just want what's best for me. But it would do them no good to dictate. I'm very, very, very stubborn. And oftentimes I just don't do the things that people want me to. I always want to be in control of my life, my actions and all. It's like, I don't tell you what to say, think or do, so don't tell me what to say, think and do.

I want to make my own mistakes because being the stubborn person that I am, I won't learn until I experience it for myself. Of course, this does not mean every experience. I don't have to be cut by a knife to know that it'll hurt (Though I learned that mistake already). But I'm saying really great things that may end up in failure.

Right now I don't know what I really want. Well actually I do, but I'm not so sure if I can have it. Anyway, I'm exploring my possibilities. I want to discover for myself what I can and cannot do and the only way I can know that is to try the different possibilities.

I don't want to be one of those people who have lots of regrets just because they didn't do the things they wanted to do then. I believe that we're always given choices and it is up to us what we want to do. I don't want to be wondering what could have been.